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Lost Connection

This is a transcription of a talk that I gave before a workshop in 2019. It speaks to the importance of psycho-spiritual healing for a fulfilled life of greater connection. This is the foundational motivation for the work that I do. 

I want to be in relationship with as many things on earth as possible. The truth of this resonates. When we think of relationship, our minds often turn to the idea of romantic relationship but really I’m in a relationship with each of you, I’m in a relationship with nature and the world around me, and I’m in a relationship with myself. The foundation of relationship is connection and as a society, our connection is broken.

The problem is that we’ve reduced ourselves to a very human experience in a more than human world. An interesting hypothesis is that the advent of language is what separated us from the rest of consciousness. Before language, we lived not in our minds, but in our senses. Our great ancestors knew a tree as a vibrant, beautiful, nourishing and supportive piece of life. They knew it’s essence, how it felt, and with that they coexisted in symbiosis. As soon as it became labeled a tree, it was over there and we, were over here. We denied the animism of all things with each label given. The same thing happened to us when we became I’s. The problem is now so endemic that we’ve labeled ourselves, anxious, lonely, sad, depressed, and we’ve completely forgotten that we’re actually unique expressions of the Universe.

Humans are now walking around as personifications of their emotions, and we’re trying to cope with the burdens of being alive without the help of community. In the worst scenarios we’re diminished to biological survival, just trying to make it through each day as people suffer with guilt, grief, sorrow, shame. It’s a cyclical phenomenon as a lot of these emotions are subconsciously rooted in the disconnect itself. We see the pressures of society sitting squarely on our shoulders, thinking that we have to bear the stress alone. Especially if we’re going against convention. Mainstream society as we know it crushes the human spirit.


So what can we do about all this? We need a why. Nietche said that if we know the why we can endure almost any how. The why is something bigger than ourselves that gets us through those really tough days where we’re left feeling very human. My why is to lead by example by connecting to myself; connecting with others; and connecting with nature. This will help myself and others remember.

This isn’t easy but it is simple. We’re looking for all these external solutions and in the process we’re hiding from our selves. It’s like we’re racing to the finish line without ever knowing where the start is. The solution is to stop seeking; it’s all right here before us. But to see this we need to get beyond emotional reactivity.

To get beyond reactivity we have to heal our traumas and wounds. We have layers upon layers of gunk that has accumulated over the years. We have generational gunk. We have past lifetime gunk. As we’re buried in layers of gunk it inhibits us from transcending to a state of love. To get there we have to intentionally look at our shit, eliminating the negative valance by seeing that there’s great learning to be found in the darkness. We have to create space to grieve and face our daemons because if we don’t face them, we banish them to the dungeon of our soul where they sit there doing fucking deadlifts waiting for us.

That all sounds terrifying! It sound’s uncomfortable. But the great news is that we don’t have to do it alone. We can tap into that connection. We can turn to nature where we’re loved unconditionally. If you ever feel unloved go sit by the water and try to tell me it’s not soothing. Go walk in the woods and tell me that it doesn’t ground you and settle your mind. The elements, nature, are literally what we’re made of. We have to remember.

To help with the strife of emotional and societal deconditioning we can gather in community where we are supported, where we can stop defending our defenses. We can enter these safe containers of non-judgement, where we can be in our true expression and discover ourselves in the eyes of another.

With the support of Nature and others we build the resilience to look internally, past all the gunk, to the heart of our true self so we can grow and develop the Spirit. To act with authenticity and confidence in our journey we have to open our heart. It doesn’t take faith to go down this path, it takes courage. It takes courage to get a little messy. It takes courage to feel all the things yet not identify as our emotions. A feeling fully felt is bliss, and that’s what our experience truly is. We’ve just forgotten under the label of humans.

To remember we seek out these peak experiences that are found in meditation, in breathwork, in climbing that goddamn mountain, in traveling, in dance, in art, in love, in entheogens. These experiences give us data points on where we stand relative to the Universe. In these moments we see the truth, that what we normally are aware of is a tiny fragment of the vastness of existence. We recognize that our essence is far greater than our human is. In this remembering we can settle into the majesty, the magnificence and the wonder of what it means to be alive, to be a part of it all. And this is what I’m stepping into, this is my why - to embody loving awareness, and in doing so, help others wake up. You’re welcome to join me.

This is it, the reason to do the work, the reason to do those spiritual deadlifts, to face those daemons. In developing a relationship with ourselves, we deepen our relationship with others, and we establish an open relationship with all of consciousness.

This is our birthright. We are avatars of divine beings. And to recognize this, to ascend to the dimension of pure consciousness and love, we have to surrender and get out of our own way. We have to detach from our emotions and reactivity. We have to forgive ourselves and others. We have to integrate and be whole. We have to love. If we can accomplish this and get a taste of true bliss, we’ll recognize the limitations of language, that there’s no real word for it. Embodiment is better than articulation. When we get there, walking around in a higher vibration with an open heart, those around us will sense it, and begin to awaken.

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